IPhone4 Flaws Filed under ( android, iphone, iphones, mobile phone, product, recall, signal loss, signal strength, smartphone, software, sony ericsson, steve jobs, the android, the apple, the apple store ) by AAA

With this week’s announcement that Verizon Wireless is going to begin selling the iPhone — something its customers have been panting for ever since AT&T got that first, exclusive iPhone contract four years ago — it’s time for me to face the music. Nobody really cares that the iPhone is flawed. After this column, I’m going to stop caring too. I swear it.

Its design is undeniably elegant; both the iPhone and its sister device, the iPad, stand at the pinnacle of modern industrial design. The iPhone offers some 300,000 apps that delight its users. Photographs look gorgeous on an iPhone. “It is the first and best implementation of a highly mobile computer,” said Roger L. Kay, the president of Endpoint Technologies Associates, a market intelligence firm.

Yet for all that it offers, the iPhone has always been plagued by serious drawbacks. The “phone” part of the iPhone has never worked very well, dropping calls with annoying regularity. Even when the phone works, the sound quality is often substandard. You would think in an age when fewer people are using landlines this would matter. Apparently not.

Meanwhile, the iPhone’s lack of a raised keyboard makes it next to impossible to do serious e-mailing. And users have to worry constantly about battery life; if they’re not judicious, the iPhone’s battery can be drained by noon.

At the Verizon Wireless-iPhone extravaganza on Tuesday — in which the two companies announced that the iPhone 4 would run on Verizon Wireless’s 3G network — Apple’s chief operating officer, Timothy D. Cook, was asked why Apple wasn’t going with the carrier’s faster, newer 4G LTE network. Mr. Cook replied that doing so required “design compromises” that Apple was unwilling to make.

They never make design compromises at Apple. They make consumer compromises. Yet consumers have always been willing to overlook those compromises so they can claim they own some of the coolest products on the planet.

“People so love their devices from Apple that they are willing to put up with the stupidities,” said Larry Keeley, president of the innovation and design firm Doblin. “For many users,” he added, “especially the ones Apple loves the most, the fact that the battery gets balky is how you convince yourself to get a new one.”

My oldest son, Amato, who is on my Verizon Wireless plan, told me recently that even though he was perfectly happy with his Android phone, if given the chance to switch to an iPhone, he would probably do it. “I can’t even say why,” he said. “I don’t even know if there is any real rationale behind that desire.”

Is Steve Jobs a business genius or what?

On the other hand, the fact that my son owns an Android phone — and finds it to be a fine smartphone, thank you very much — suggests that the Apple chief executive’s fetish for form over function has its downside. Not everybody, it turns out, is indifferent to whether their smartphones can actually make phone calls. For proof, all you have to do is look at the recent performance of Verizon Wireless, which has been, by far, the country’s most profitable wireless carrier, despite not having the iPhone in its arsenal.

Verizon Wireless could have snagged the original iPhone contract four years ago, but it passed. It did so not because of the iPhone’s flaws, which were then unknown, but because Apple was insisting on terms that it could not accept. These included a guaranteed subsidy for the phone (cellphone carriers use subsidies as important marketing tools), no say in the software design and loss of control of the customer to Apple.

A Verizon Wireless spokesman told me back then that with the iPhone deal, AT&T had handed over “the ability to insure customer service” to Apple, which, he added, “is something we would never have agreed to.” AT&T, which was struggling, felt it had no choice but to agree to Apple’s onerous terms.

The Apple-AT&T marriage has been a public relations disaster — for AT&T. Its network was quickly overwhelmed, in part because it was subpar, and in part because iPhone owners — with a mobile computer at their fingertips — used astonishing amounts of data: 15 times more than the average smartphone user, and “50 percent more than AT&T itself had projected,” according to Fred Vogelstein, who wrote about the problems for Wired magazine.

The Apple Killers of CES 2011 Filed under ( 3D, Advertising, Amazing, Apple, Awards, Beautiful, Best, CES 2011, Information, Interesting, iphone, iPhone Boxers, Killers, nature, New Year, price, Wonderful ) by AAA

Apple unveils its products on its own damn time. But just because they won't be a presence at CES doesn't mean CES 2011 isn't all about them. Take a look at 11 gadgets made with the express purpose of dethroning Steve Jobs. Heck, some of them are so pretty they just might succeed.

LG Optimus Black

Think your iPhone’s all slick and shit? LG’s Optimus Black is taking over as the world’s thinnest phone, measuring in at a whisker-thin 9.2 mm. Well, the iPhone is only .1 mm bigger than that, but that’s still going to kill you, isn’t it? Optimus Black, which will hopefully inspire someone to make a Blaxploitation Transformers flick, also has a 4-inch NOVA screen (that means it’s ultra-bright and clear like whoa even in direct sunlight). It’ll be running Android 2.2 Froyo when it goes on sale in the first half of 2011, but you can update it to Gingerbread later. There’s also a forward-facing camera, which seems to be required for all phones now.

Windows Phone 7

Did you see the Fable Coin Golf game Steve Ballmer led the Windows Phone 7 portion of the Microsoft keynote with? Just kidding, it looks a +1 stink-charmed pile of hobbe crap. Please stick to making me Xbox games, and try not to eff up Fable IV like you did III, eh? I do think the Windows Phone 7 has potential if Microsoft can get its mind right, and it might make more waves now that they've announced they'll be expanding to Verizon and Sprint. Bless you, little Sprint, for staying in business. WP7 is also getting a cut and paste feature and a much-needed boost in the app loading time department. Stay tuned.

Motorola Atrix 4

Motorola’s new 4G smartphone, an AT&T joint, claims to be the most powerful smartphone ever, of all time. They might not be bullshitting you, either: this thing has a dual-core 1GHz processor and 16 gigs of internal storage (you can expand it to 48 gigs with a microSD card). The phone isn’t technically 4G, though: it’s built for current HSPA+ technology, and many people in the know don’t consider that to be true 4G—despite T-Mobile and AT&T’s advertisements to the contrary. Motorola also demonstrated its ability to dock into a laptop, which lets you use the laptop to navigate your phone. Unnecessary by far, but appealing in a way. Also, forward-facing camera.

Motorola Xoom

Check it out: a tablet that runs Android 3.0 designed for tablets. The much-rumored Xoom, which I personally pronounce using the Jewish “ch”, has similar specs to the Atrix: dual-core 1 GHz processor, forward-facing camera, rear camera, etc. It’s also got an HDMI output (eat it, Apple), Flash support (hell yeah), 1080p HD video support, 720p video capture, and all the scopes that measure pressure and movement that you’ve come to require in your Apple-killing devices on a 10.1 inch screen. It’s coming to Verizon in March, and should you get the 3G version right away, you’ll later be able to upgrade the tablet to 4G (awesome!).

BlackBerry Playbook

Nerds are scuttling all over each other with rumors that Apple is coming out with a 7-inch device this spring. Blackberry has them beat to the punch with the new Playbook, a pocket-sized tablet if you wear JNCO jeans. It runs like a dream (including Flash) and looks especially slick for yet another black, rectangular woo-dad (I have a PhD). Be warned, though, that you have to link up with your BlackBerry smartphone if you want to check your email and calendar. If you don't already have one of those, I'd wait for the next 7 incher to hit the streets because that sucks in a serious way.

Samsung 9 Series Laptop

Samsung has begun standing out in the past few years as an aesthetic leader, and this MacBook Air killer (and the complimentary Series 9 3D HDTV unveiled mere hours before CES) is no exception. This 13-inch laptop is lighter and thinner than the 13-inch Air (not by much at all, but you can have your bragging rights regardless). It rolls with a 1.4GHz Intel Core i5 processor, 4 gigs of RAM, and a 128 gig SSD (Solid State Drive). I also dig the display that automatically adjusts its brightness to your room's lighting to reduce strain on your precious peepers.

Samsung Infuse 4G

Another 4G (HSPA+ again, arguably not true 4G) Android phone coming down the pipes, this time for AT&T (it'll be the network's thinnest phone). The Infuse has a 1.2GHz processor, and, you guessed it, both rear- and forward-facing cameras. Next year I expect to see phones with sideways cameras as well. The mega 4.5 inch Super Amoled Plus screen looks just gorgeous despite sounding like terrible robot anime, reaffirming what I said earlier about Samsung being the pretty girl at the prom this year after producing earlier, cheap-feeling phones.

HTC Inspire 4G

The HTC Inspire will basically be AT&T's version of the EVO (on the Sprint network), practically the same phone with a different name. It's got the same specs: 1 GHz processor, 4.3 inch screen, and so on. Unfortunately, it will not be compatible with AT&T's LTE network (the "true" 4G) when it comes out, so you'll have to make do with HSPA+, you spoiled baby. As long as HTC keeps throwing its weight around different networks, it might build a base on which it can become a very serious contender.

LG G-Slate

Not one to be left behind (except when it comes to most things), T-Mobile has announced its own tablet, which, like several of its contemporary CES tablets, run on the Android 3.0 operating system (otherwise known as Honeycomb). Though few details are known, LG's G-Slate, which will hopefully be marketed towards gangstas, will run on some kind of 4G.

Sony Ericsson Xperia arc

The phone everybody thought was going to be the Playstation Phone isn't. It does look good, though, with a meh 1 GHz Snapdragon processor, 4.2 inch screen, Android 2.3, an 8.3 megapixel camera, HD video capture, an HDMI connector, and a svelte 8.7 mm thick body. The arc (intentional lower-case: yes, it is that cool) also has something called a "Reality Display" with the Mobile BRAVIA Engine to make pretty images; hopefully we'll find out what all that actually means sometime soon.

Asus Eee Slate EP121

The latest in Asus's line of the bestest, funnest named computers ever is a Windows 7 tablet PC. It's got a screen made of Gorilla Glass (one of the big buzz specs around CES this year), which means it's extra tough, and comes with a wireless keyboard so you can ditch your current laptop if you want. It's got a 2.53 GHz Intel Core i5 processor inside, and comes in two versions: 32 gig SSD with 2 gigs of RAM for $999, or a 64 gig SSD with 4 gigs of RAM for $1099.

Ridiculously Awesome iPod Accessories For 2011 Filed under ( Amazing, awsome, Beautiful, cats, Cinemin Slice, For 2011, hello, Humor, iphone, iPhone Boxers, iPod, iretrofone, Pleasent, steve, walkman | ) by AAA

Leather Nano Watch Strap, $26

I dig the candy-colored plastic Nano watch straps, but I am an eight year-old boy with ADHD trapped in a woman’s body. For you rougher and more adult customers, Elecom makes these leather wrist straps in black and brown. Feel free to order directly from them in you can read Japanese characters, or else get them through the link below from this English speaker living in Japan. I’ve never ordered from this dude, though, and can’t vouch for him, so don’t get mad at me if he absconds with your PayPal funds and leaves your wrist naked and less trusting in the future.

Customizable Engraved Bamboo Cases, $69-$99

Wood isn’t only good for sweet acoustics, it’s good for looking awesome. I’m loving these engraved bamboo cases from Grove. You can pick a design from the artists’ series (I especially like this 2 Guys 1 Beard case and another, not pictured, minimalist take on whales and bears), or submit one of your own and Grove will engrave it on a case for $99. All you have to do is upload your artwork (provided it doesn’t violate any copyright laws) at checkout.

HDMI Adapter, $72

FINALLY, someone brought an HDMI output to the iPhone. Those someones are predictably Japanese, so you must pay a mite extra as well as find a friend to translate the store’s website for you, but I’m still thoroughly excited. It’s only a matter of time before some company makes this available in the U.S. So what does this means for you? It means you can finally connect your iPhone via HDMI cable to your HDTV for movies, pictures, or mecha Keynote.

   
Dancing Cat Speaker, $40

I don’t think you understand the gravity of this situation: not only does this upright feline amplify your music, it will dance to it. Anything: Wagner, Celtic Woman, Sisqo. If you’re interested, the kittens do a bit of a modified cabbage patch. Just insert two AA’s, plug the included cable into your iPod or iPhone, and let the soothing gyrations wash away your troubles. Other sites sell a dog version as well, but that’s really not important.

Darth Vader USB Hub, $65

Do you find yourself constantly removing USB cables to make room to charge your iPod? Well, don’t! This is America, not commie China where Chairman Mao oversees computer and fortune cookie production from his sewer fortress. Darth Vader here will sit on your desk, functioning as both a handsome work-time accessory and three extra USB ports. When he’s plugged into stuff he does that breathing thing, which will either be obnoxious after five minutes or become some kind of white noise you can’t quite seem to function without. Impressive.  Most impressive.

Real Cow Hide Pouch, $89.89

No one will be upset with the fact that this iPhone pouch is made of actual cattle hide once they learn that the company sells them under the decidedly un-PC, and frankly quite confusing, name of Eskimo Pouch. With sheep leather lining, carbon fiber composite, and actual furry cattle hide exterior (I’m serious, you can brush these), you should certainly get your money’s worth if you like to dress like an extra from Midnight Cowboy.

Hairspray Case, $35

Griffin and Threadless have been joining forces since the iPhone 2G to bring you fine-looking cases. This time around, I especially dig this graffiti design from artist Jasmiini Ottelin, which adds less than a millimeter of thickness to your iPhone. Check out the site for other 4G designs like Electric Jellyfish and Everyday Life Would Be Cooler With Sound Effects, as well as some 2G and 3G cases still available for my stone age brothers out there.

iGrill, $100

This Christmas, I relied on a meat thermometer the grocery store gave away for free to cook steaks. Consequently, I caused a grease fire with five foot flames that raged on for twenty minutes inside the oven while I, after screaming and slamming the oven door shut, watched on helplessly and a bit pyro-hypnotized. I won’t make the same mistake next year. I’m either going to order Chinese or invest in something like the iGrill, a fancy meat thermometer that can communicate with your iPod.  Set it for a specific temperature (the app will tell you which meats need which temperatures) and walk away. Your iPhone will keep you abreast of time, temp, and more through multiple meat probes.

Pulsear Heartrate Monitor Headphones, TBD

Is all that metal making you super aggro?  These will tell you when it’s time to take a chill break. Switzerland’s CSEM just finalized the prototype for the Pulsear, headphones that monitor your heartrate via a small infrared sensor. Your iPhone can then take the signals, process them, and plot visually. If you’re the athletic type, this could take separate heartrate monitors completely out of the equation from your run, leaving you with nothing to carry but your iPhone on your arm. That and plenty of Jujubes!

Michael Kors iPhone Wristlet, $80

Hey there, classy lady. I know you’ve got the cheddar to afford an iPhone, but it’s like everybody’s got one now that Radioshack’s trading them for food stamps. Show the working class you also have the money to spend nearly one hundred dollars to give your phone its own purse, which you will then have to put into another purse. Crafted from the finest of full grain Napa leathers, this case from the MICHAEL by Michael Kors collection can also be purchased in tandem with a matching iPad case, should you at times desire a slightly larger screen display.

Motz Tiny Wooden Power Speaker, $60

The makers of the adorable Tiny Wooden Acorn speaker have a new miniature wooden iPhone accessory to strike your lumber-fancy. The Tiny Wooden Power Speaker isn’t only a bitchin’ FM radio, it’s an iPhone speaker made from “natural cut apricots” (I think they mean apricot wood, but I hope they do actually mean apricots). It can play music from a ton of other sources, too: flash drives, SD cards, and any MP3-capable devices. Just charge it up via USB and be on your way. Sure, it doesn’t dance like the cat speakers, but it looks so good it can just lean.

Movie Peg, $8

MoviePeg isn’t the only solution around for making your iThings stand up on their own, but it may have the best combination of elegance and cheapness. The simple notch, available in enough colors to make you grapple with the nature of capitalism, is available in iPhone 4 and iPhone 3 versions. It’s perfect for traveling, as a tripod for taking pictures, and keeping sticky child sausage fingers at bay while they watch some stupid video about Shrek or something that makes them shut up for five minutes so you can think.

Famicom Controller Case, $47

I’m down with the stickers that make your iPhone look like an NES controller, but what about an actual resin case that not only make it look like a Nintendo controller, but a Famicom controller? For real, an iPhone 4 that looks like a Japanese NES controller just might make me explode. Also, even though this is completely unlicensed, I am going to take this as a secret message just for me from Steve Jobs that Apple is about to buy Nintendo, whence upon the globe will flood with God’s happiness tears, creating an a Noah’s Ark Opposite Day miracle that mostly involves waterparks.

Pinball Magic Cabinet, $40

Face it: pinball’s just not the same without the cabinet. As much as I like playing digital pinball games, they can only get better with the Pinball Magic iPhone/iPod cabinet. Just slide your device inside, and you’ve got side mounted flipper buttons, an actual plunger to launch balls, and tilt detection (rats). So far it only works with their pinball game, but they promise support for other third party pinball games is coming soon.

Touchscreen Glove Pins, $14

There are plenty of gloves on the market with built-in conductors that allow you to manipulate your iPod’s touchscreen. But what if you already have a pair that’s kept you warm through many blizzards, which you won’t soon abandon for flash-in-the-pan techno-mittens? These conductive pins will make any pair of hand clothes touchscreen ready. They come in packs of four and you really only need one per set of gloves, so hand some out to a buddy or spread them out throughout your extensive and certainly dapper glove connection.

Universal Remote Control, $60

Put this thing in that thing and look, your iPod’s a universal remote control! I’ve got no fewer than six remotes, and it would be nice to use my end table for things other than remotes and game controllers. Compatible with most iPods, iPhones, and the iPad, it can be used in multiple rooms across your house and set up for a bunch of preprogrammed devices. Unfortunately, this means I would now have a near 100% chance of losing my iPhone.

Robot Headphone Splitter, $14

Sharing headphones with your high school beau is romantic. Awkwardly crowding together with somebody you just met at a party is not, especially when they return their bud covered in yellow-brown wax clumps. There’s really no cleaning that. Won’t you let Splitbot help keep your ears disease free? Simply pop his head off, stick it in your iPhone, and insert two headphones into his empty sockets. He also finds professional fulfillment as an adorable keychain.

iPhone Boxers, $20

You’ve gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, and know when to keep your iPhone in a snug pocket on the inside of your boxers. They’re specially treated with an anti-microbial odor buster so your phone won’t stank, so don’t worry about that. They should prevent robbers from trying to swipe your iPhone, but honestly, if they go through the trouble of going inside the front of your pants to try and get at it, you should just let them have it, man.

Cinemin Slice, $430

IPod, why you got such a little screen? I’ll fix you with the Cinemin Slice, an object of spelling confusion and an iPhone/iPod projector. The little device will give you up to a 60 inch image anywhere from the wall to the ceiling with the 90 degree swivel. It supports games, movies and photos and can also hook up to an iPad or laptop via the VGA port. It’s got speakers, too, should your device’s be inadequate. 

Hello Kitty Solar Charger Charm, $29

Spending all day in the sun is rarely a problem for me, as my condo in Freelance Towers is regularly and thoughtfully stocked by Goody Robots. For those of you that do experience regular Vitamin D intake, consider these solar iPhone chargers. Available in Hello Kitty, teddy bear (this is from Japan, after all), and regular ol’ black versions, these solar batteries charge up to give your phone extra hours of juice. Quite handy when you’re away from a computer, car, or source of electrical charging power. Use it up, and the sun will have it ready to go again in a lickety jiff.

iRetrofone Steampunk Version, $350

Hurrhurr, making your iPhone look like an old phone that was clearly made way before iPhones existed, hurrhurr. Okay those things are dumb and it’s not funny anymore, but that would not stop me from buying this beautiful piece from Freeland Studios that leaves played-out anachronism-based ironies behind for pure style. Scott Freeland hand-sculpted and hand-painted this base that allows for USB charge and sync connectivity as well as, clearly, routing phone conversations through the handset. Take that, brain radiation!

Steve In-Sane Tee, $24

I can’t get enough of this t-shirt design, which combines David Bowie’s Aladdin Sane look with the young hipster Steve Jobs and the classic Apple color splash. This is definitely what I will be rocking in line for the iPad 2—if it comes out at a price point under $100. Check out the rest of this company’s shirts too, including one that asks What Would Geordi La Forge Do? (his visor can see directly through moral fog) and another that sports a charming Ascii tribute to Pedobear.

iPhone GPS Adapter, $80

Yeah, you can get a decent GPS for under $100 now, but I’m not going to tarnish this for you like Keanu Reeves’ performance in Bram Stoker’s Dracula tarnished Gary Oldman’s. Besides, wouldn’t you rather have the iPhone up there on your windshield to make hands-free calls, listen to your fave playlist, watch movies when traffic’s at a standstill, or impress extremely susceptible children?  And there’s the GPS part too: the holster has a chip that boosts the iPhone’s otherwise spotty GPS navigation. Thanks to the adapter plate in this new version, it can work with the 4G as well as earlier versions.

Walkman Sticker, $6

Remember the Sony Walkmans/men/mens? Weren’t they funny? Guess what: that’s where your iPhone is headed someday. Celebrate the inescapable onset of obsoleteness with knowing snark and this cheap and awesome vinyl laminate for your iPhone 4. Dude sells plenty of other cool stickers, including ones that make your iPhone look like Han Solo frozen in carbonite and the R2-D2 Droid 2. The stickers themselves won’t ever let you down: they are made of material that’s been rated for 5-7 years of outdoor life, while your phone is probably rated for ten minutes of moist sweatpant exposure.

iPod Shower Speaker, $60

I don’t know how people take five minute showers. I stay in there a full twenty minutes, mostly just standing there and trying to wake up. I know it’s probably not good for the environment, but I’m just so sleepy. I could have something to do while I’m in there, though. Keep your gross comments to yourself, I’m talking about bringing my iPod in there, not making some kind of wet romance. Now, I know they are only waterproof 70% of the time, so I’m fixing to look into this waterproof shower speaker for iPods n’ Pads. Just put your iPod into the separate dock (it can be up to 150 feet away from the shower), hang the speaker unit by the shower head, and get to stepping on those non-slip bath stickers. Just make sure you have a decent playlist lined up, and don’t get smart with the “Singin’ in the Rain” and whatnot.